VICTIMS OF ABUSE

VICTIMS OF ABUSE

Miss Amal Al Saab at Future Experts Kindergarten talks about her experience with an abused child

In my first year of teaching, I had an encounter with a boy named *Tamim in KG 2. He used to practically live in a bubble and seemed to be an introvert. He would scare easily and be always reluctant to play openly with other children. I didn’t know what the problem was – initially I thought maybe he’s just a timid boy, but there always fear in his eyes.

I started seeing scars on his body soon. He once caught me looking and tried to cover his arm which had a rash. When I inquired about it, he refused to answer and started to keep a distance from me. I knew he was being physically abused, but by whom?

I decided to give his parents a call. I informed them of his distant behavior but they had nothing to say.

I thought of taking a different approach – I directly asked them if he was being physically abused at home because I had seen scars and marks on his body. The father admitted to it but didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. “Our parents also used to hit us when we misbehaved – it is a disciplinary measure,” he told me.

I requested he immediately puts an end to this practice as it was affecting Tamim deeply. It was altering his personality. He was losing himself.

I’m not sure if the father stopped the abuse or not but my way of dealing with it was catering to the trauma the child faced post-abuse. We spoke to him and counseled him. We told him there was no need to fear anything and we should come out stronger no matter what we face in life.

Tamim started to develop confidence and was less and less scared of time. That’s all I could do as a teacher.

Abuse and violence is not the answer or solution. There are multiple ways of disciplining a child instead of hitting them. If you just take the time out to explain to them why they should not be doing a certain thing, they will understand it and follow. But if you hit them, they may stop at that specific time, but it doesn’t guarantee it will not happen again.

We need to explain to them why a certain behavior is not acceptable – not physically abuse them.

While Tamim was probably being smacked or slapped, other kids are beaten up with sticks and other objects. We need to understand that this will not resolve anything – it will only make matters worse.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the children.